5 Ways Virtual Doulas Can Support You During Your Birth & Delivery
On a late night in March, I received a phone call from a client who was in the early stages of labor. I dropped what I was doing and put on my noise cancelling headphones and paced my kitchen floor in my pajamas. I felt like an air traffic controller directing an incoming airplane to a safe landing only I was guiding a laboring woman who was alone in a hospital. Our mission was a clear one; to uphold her desire for a natural birth by directing the incoming baby down the birth canal for a safe arrival.
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The mother-to-be had been running a fever, experiencing body aches, and was having trouble breathing. In the middle of March several states in the US had already called a state of emergency and many hospitals were already inundated by potential and actual COVID-19 cases. A week before, some hospitals were mandating that birthing women would have to leave their partners and their doulas behind once they arrived at the hospital, causing a complete state of panic for pregnant women, their families, and the birth professionals contracted to support them. The ordeal raised issues of human rights, as many felt that leaving a laboring woman in an unfamiliar environment alone was inhumane. Luckily due to the overwhelming public outcry and the rigorous lobbying by families and birth professionals the mandates were modified to allow one birth partner to support a laboring woman-IF the person in labor and their birth partner were not symptomatic of the virus. But what about the symptomatic birthing people? In the case of my client she remained in her hospital room alone with limited checks from the staff. She wasn’t entirely alone though, she had her birth doula on the phone with her the whole time coaching her and encouraging her to work through the pressure and to focus on her birth goal which was to give birth naturally.
Let’s rewind a minute and get caught up to speed on the circumstances because everyone’s situation is different.
Our doula/client relationship began a couple of months before her due date. As per our agreement; we had one in person prenatal appointment, one postnatal appointment, I would be present to support her during labor and delivery, and we would speak on a weekly basis regarding updates surrounding her pregnancy. During our in person meeting we sat and came up with a birth plan that was tailored to her specific goals. This wasn’t her first show at the rodeo and this multiple child mama wanted to experience a natural birth for the first time. She had ordered an audio hypnobirthing course like this one in order to focus on relaxing her body and practice focused breathing. Having had a natural birth myself I was able to provide her with some tips and tricks as well as a gentle reminder that sometimes birth plans take a detour and that is okay!
We spoke weekly and I was able to provide insight, evidenced based research, self comfort techniques, and I also provided a listening ear as she vented about her fears and her frustrations. My client was going to be one of the women affected by the no partner mandates. She was disappointed because she wanted me and her husband to be there to support her mentally and physically. I promised her that I would be there virtually and reassured her of the benefits of virtual doula support.
Virtual Doulas Keep Their Clients Informed So That They Have The Tools to Self Advocate
Let’s be honest, the search engines are clouded with a ton of misguided and outdated information about labor and delivery. It can be confusing for expecting mothers and their partners to sift through the information in order to piece together facts that are relevant and resonate with them so that they can have a memorable birth experience. Part of being a doula means frequently updating our repertoire of knowledge and skill sets. Most doula certification platforms require their certified doulas to enroll in continuing education units (CEUs). This allows doulas to stay up to date regarding best birthing practices but also to stretch each doula’s mind so that they can discover their strengths in modalities such as fetal positioning, hypnobirthing, lamaze, etc.
Knowledge is power and a good doula will NEVER stop researching and learning. Through memberships, experiential learning, and evidence based practices virtual doulas seek out individualized information to allow each birthing person to make informed and educated decisions so that they can feel good about their birth. I want to be clear about doula’s and advocacy: doulas do not have the liberty to speak for clients nor do they have the liberty to make any medical decisions on behalf of a birth person or their partner. Doula’s provide educational resources that have been well researched and are backed by evidence. They are a source of guidance and comfort and can help a birth person find their voice if they feel intimidated asking medical staff questions. Through relationship building and birth plan mapping, doulas get a feel for the wishes of each birthing person they work with. They should then provide unbiased information associated with each person’s birth desires and inform them of any benefits or risks.
Phone Conversations Are Like Talking to Your Birthing BFF
There is no better feeling than connecting with someone on similar ground. Birth doulas whether virtual or in person know the ins and outs of pregnancy, labor and delivery, birth, and the postpartum transition. Many doulas are mothers themselves and have entered the birth profession in order to help make it a more equitable and safer place for all women and their families. Having not only the experiential background and the educational background, many women feel more comfortable opening up about sensitive topics such as discharge, hemorrhoids, constipation, etc. to their doulas rather than their close friends. Such conversations break down walls that women have about their perceptions and their bodies. It is comforting knowing that you can laugh over a normally embarrassing situation with someone who frequently talks about such things on a daily basis. All jokes aside, doulas can provide a listening ear about uncomfortable personal topics that can be particularly distressing to a client. There are some things that a woman may be more willing to divulge to a female rather than their male partner.
Birth is a life changing transformation, having someone well versed in the process can inspire women to drop irrational fears and believe in the gifts that their bodies have to offer them. Birth may be a physical, emotional, and spiritual transformation for a woman but it should be brought to light that birth partners transform as well. It can be very difficult for birth partners to connect with the feelings that a pregnant person is experiencing. Doulas promote the inclusion of birth partners in the pregnancy process and prepare them for labor by acting as a mediator in order to allow both partners to understand each other’s perspectives. They can provide specific tips and insights into how a birth partner can be proactive in helping a pregnant person, instead of them feeling like their job will begin once the baby is born. The consistency in communication and the comfort in being able to talk to someone who is familiar with what you are going through offers many benefits for both partners.
Emotional Support Is Just As Important As Physical Support
Did you know that studies have found that women remember the feelings surrounding the birth of their children for the rest of their lives. You heard that correctly, although we may forget such things like telling a person to get out of the room, what color the room walls were, or which nurse gave us that go ahead to start pushing we do remember our feelings directly associated with our birth experiences. If women feel comfortable and supported by a team of people who know them well and who openly embrace and support their birth plan it drastically increases feelings of happiness and satisfaction of their birth experience even if their birth plan had to be modified due to extenuating circumstances. If a woman feels uncomfortable during labor and feels like her wishes are not valued or feels violated in some way shape or form the negative feelings associated with the birth can have an indelible impact on her feelings about the birth and can even be connected to postpartum depression and could have a negative impact on future birth outcomes.
Oftentimes people can get caught up in the here and now, remaining implicitly focused on needing physical support. It is important to recognize that emotional distress can amplify physical discomfort as the body often tenses up as a physical response to negative emotions. If the feelings behind the emotional response are not addressed properly this can lead a birthing person to abandon their birth plan in order to run from the discomfort associated with labor pain. Birth doulas are savvy at knowing how to get a birthing person to open up about their emotions, utilize breathing techniques in order to center the birthing, and provide instruction on physical positions that can aid the clients discomfort. By refocusing the emotional energy of a birthing person, doulas can take them from feeling like they can’t to feeling like they can.
You Will Have the Same Access To Services That You Would With In Person Doula Services
The quality of care a doula has to offer does not diminish just because of the need to use a virtual platform. You can still interview doulas in order to see who will be the right fit for your family. Virtual mediums like Facetime, Google Meet, Zoom, etc. are great ways to connect with a doula. Doulas can utilize these platforms to conduct prenatal/postnatal visits where they can provide you with a wealth of information and present educational material through screen sharing.
Most doula contracts have a time in which they are “on call” for your birth, for me it is 36 weeks. What this means is that your doula will be available to you virtually around the clock in order to assist you with any questions or concerns pertaining to your pregnancy. Maybe it is 2:00am and a client has been feeling some consistent contractions but isn’t sure if it is go time. Your doula will be there to answer questions and provide you with tools to get through the discomfort.
Virtual assistance is a normal form of communication in a doula/client relationship. Doulas use phone, text, and Facetime support throughout the last weeks of pregnancy in order to assist clients and gauge if a client is in actual labor or not. The reason for this is that not all contractions are created equal. Braxton-Hicks contractions are the culprit for many women and their partners having just arrived at the hospital to be sent home. Prodromal labor is another case in which a client will experience contractions, however those contractions usually end up dissipating before active labor starts.
Since the body is experiencing so many changes during the ninth month of pregnancy doulas typically keep the avenues of communication open by providing virtual assistance before running to be with their clients. This prevents burnout in doulas and a sense of security in clients, knowing that they have someone close to them who can guide them through their feelings of uncertainty due to the changes occuring in their bodies.
You Will Not Be Alone
The relationship that is generated between a birth doula and a client can become an impenetrable bond. Clients are inclined to divulge the most sensitive information and learn to become vulnerable in their pregnancies and birth processes. Doulas are nurturers at heart, and will do whatever is in their power to ensure that a birthing mother feels like a person rather than a patient.
Medical staff have huge caseloads and do not always have the luxury of sticking close to their patients. Nurses, doctors, and residents are constantly on the move making their rounds and assisting with the deliveries of multiple babies in the labor and delivery unit. This can cause women and their partners to feel isolated and alone. Having a doula virtually present during labor can provide the birthing person with a feeling of comfort knowing that there is someone there who is on their side. In order to help you have a more focused experience with a virtual doula, purchase a tripod like this one so that you can be hands free allowing you to focus on the valuable coaching that your doula will provide you. Depending on the birth setting a doula can then instruct the birthing person and their partner on positions that will be beneficial for helping them through their discomfort while providing the added benefit of opening up the pelvis in order to better assist their baby during its journey.
On a more serious note using a visual platform can be beneficial for victims of sexual assault or birthing people who do not have anyone to accompany them. Just knowing that they can have someone present that they know and trust can ease feelings of discomfort and trauma when dealing with unfamiliar medical staff entering and exiting the room, especially during uncomfortable situations such as internal exams.
There are so many fears associated with labor and delivery, especially for women who are becoming first time mothers. It is normal for women to experience apprehension and uncertainty about what the birth process may look like for them, however even though these feelings exist the certainty of knowing that their partners and birth team will be right alongside them can help them to feel more at ease.
In the case of my client the symptoms associated with her illness pointed to a diagnosis of COVID-19 which meant that she was to be admitted and labor by herself. Immediately, her and I were connected. I was virtually present from the first vitals being taken until the sound of a beautiful healthy baby could be heard crying on the other end. My client though disappointed that her husband couldn’t join her and her doula couldn’t physically be present had the comfort in knowing that someone was there with her every step of the way.
Every birthing environment and situation is different. Whether you choose to birth in the hospital, a birth center, or at home virtual doula support can enhance your labor and delivery and provide you with a more positive and informative birth outcome. In the case of my COVD-19 positive client, it was just me and her in the birth room up until the birth of her child. I am so glad that my client and I had decided that virtual doula support would be the most beneficial point of action for her given situation and planned ahead accordingly, because a few weeks later as stated above her birth plan took a detour. Having gone to the hospital for breathing issues, the ER concierge took one look at her belly and sent her to Labor and Delivery. It was there that they discovered that my client was in the early stages of labor.
With the assistance of a virtual doula my client was able to have a familiar person virtually with her throughout the experience even when physical support could not be permitted. The educational resources, physical positioning advice, and positive emotional support allowed my client to stay the course regarding her birth plan and she had the natural birth that she had desired.
Now more than ever, women and their birth partners need support and validation as they transition into parenthood. Creating a birth team of both virtual and physical support members can offer partners the educational resources and emotional assistance that they need to persevere during these unprecedented times. It is important to remember that a birth plan is a working document and may need to be adjusted as procedural safeguards are constantly changing. Virtual doula support can benefit women who may be required to birth alone and women with partners by providing them with the vital emotional support they need in order to have their desired birth outcomes met so that every moment there after can be a Mommentous Moment.